I see you.
You feel like your fertility journey is taking over your entire life.
From the moment you wake until you go to bed at night it’s at the front of your mind.
Pregnant women are everywhere aren’t they?! Seriously, where do they all come from??
In the two week wait, you notice every ache and niggle, is it a sign of pregnancy or a sign that your period is about to arrive. Again! Maybe Google will have the answer…
You’re so tired of putting on a smile and pretending you’re ok. It’s exhausting isn’t it?
You don’t think you can take one more pregnancy announcement. And you have no idea how you’re going to face that baby shower next month.
You’re sick to the insensate comments. What seems to be innocent small talk, can be utterly crushing “so, when are you going to hurry up and have a baby?” They either don’t know or don’t get it. Either way they say the wrong thing.
You don’t need any more suggestions of miracle solutions “why don’t you go on holiday, that’s what my friend’s cousin’s sister-in-law did and it worked for them”. Or people who really don’t get it “I know exactly how you feel, we were trying for 3 months and it was awful”.
Every month of waiting and disappointment you can feel yourself spiralling further and further downwards.
I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all this. I know from experience how hard it is.
As you have found your way onto my website and made it this far, it tells me you want things to be different, you know things need to change. But how can things get better until your baby is in your arms?
Right now you’re waiting to live. Putting life on hold until your baby arrives. I get it, really I do. But that’s no way to live and it’s not helping you to get what you want most in the world.
I can support you with how you’re feeling while you wait for your baby. I will be there to support you as someone who gets it, someone who has been there.
You can regain your confidence that’s been melting away through all of this. Confidence to know you can handle any difficult situation that comes up, because you absolutely can!
You will finally feel like you again and know that you can do all those things you’ve been putting off that you used to enjoy so much.
You will be able to allow yourself to feel positive about the future and imagine the future you want. To move away from the worry and anxiety caused by uncertainty and feeling confident to be able to hope again.
You will break down any unhelpful thoughts, blocks or fears which may be affecting your ability to fall pregnant.
Because right now your mind and body are really confused. All the stress you’re feeling in relation to having a baby is making your subconscious think you’re in danger, that it’s not safe to get pregnant so it stops that from happening.
I hope that doesn’t sound too bonkers!
I wish I could promise you that by changing your mindset and reducing stress you will get pregnant. Of course I can’t guarantee that. But what I can tell you that by changing your way of thinking you will 1) be happier while you wait for your baby and 2) be doing everything you can to support what you want to happen.
Your mind and body working together (rather than against each other as they are now) will improve your chances of fertility success.
- I’m an ex-Midwife and now work as a Health Visitor. I am passionate about work which supports women going through challenging times. No-one should feel alone or unsupported when they feel at their most vulnerable.
- I don’t drink tea, I know shocking isn’t it! Or coffee! I am partial to a hot lemon drink in the morning though.
- I love listening to audio books of Stephen Fry reading Harry Potter. I’ve been listening to them on loop for about 3 years and go to bed listening to it every night. I find it so calming and it helps me get to sleep.
- I’ve had 2 complicated fertility journeys. I don’t think infertility ever leaves you, or maybe for me it’s just that it wasn’t that long ago. But I still get a pang of anxiety when I think someone is going to tell me they’re pregnant and I still feel really paranoid about my reaction.
- My husband and I got married in San Francisco. We only had 4 people with us and it was perfect. A big wedding just wasn’t us. We then went on our honeymoon to Hawaii and have since become slightly obsessed with the place.
- I’ve worked in the NHS for 14 years, first as a health care assistant, I then trained as a midwife, then as a health visitor, which is what I do now.
- I’m dyslexic and struggle with reading and spelling. My reading brain is really really slow, too slow for the rest of my brain which gets bored so I often don’t finish books when I start them.
- I have no reason or explanation for this but I’ve always thought of my spirit animal as being a dolphin.
- I could easily recite all the words while watching Dirty Dancing which is one of my top 5 films, the others being Kill Bill, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, Pan’s Labyrinth and Good Will Hunting.
- I love music and going to gigs and festivals (although don’t get to go much anymore). I’ve been to Glastonbury twice which is amazing but exhausting as it’s so huge. I’d love to go to Coachella in America that’s definitely top of my bucket list.
- My love of travelling started on my gap year (is that still a thing) I went to Malaysia and did one of those projects that were all the rage at the time. We lived literally in the jungle for 2 months building a bridge across a river. I then spent another 2 months teaching English to kids in a tiny village school.